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It is terrible. We were alone over the weekend, I was staying over. Janice was running a high fever. I wanted to get her to the ER but she refused. Dr. Gerry is blaming me. He fired me and took the k--ds to his old mother's. I can probably go back to nursing up at Columbia, but I feel like it might be really my fault. I don't know what to do.She sounded so sincere and vulnerable on the phone I was sorry I hadn't returned to the city.Look Louisa, it wasn't your fault. Janice was delicate. I almost said she wasn't delicate sucking cock and fucking, but I said, look, she had a history of hospitalization for mysterious ailments. I said, where are you. She said, I am home in Washington Heights, near Columbia hospital, where my mom works and I used to work. I said, I think you can handle this. Just try to get something there. I will call you when I get back to the city next Monday, I have been entertaining guests, am several hours away.I found myself up in the Heights having a drink w/. I spun, admiring my reflection, and then looked at the rest of dresses on the hanger. None of them were going to compare to this — I was absolutely certain. I re-dressed and slipped back out, carrying only the grey dress. Stephen looked up from his phone, leaned against the wall, and gave me a startled look. ‘Rachel, you’re done already? You don’t need to hurry — I don’t mind waiting.’ ‘Thanks, but I think I found the one I want,’ I said shyly, still having trouble meeting his eyes. ‘Are you sure?’ He sounded doubtful. ‘You didn’t even ask my opinion or anything.’ I wasn’t going to. This dress was for meeting a guy here tonight who would be interested in me — somebody who wasn’t carrying years and years of our friendship baggage. Also, a small secret part of me that I wasn’t going to admit to wanted him to be surprised and wowed by my appearance tonight. ‘I’m sure,’ I said. ‘If you’re still up for buying me an outfit, then let’s go.’ He eyed me for a minute and shrugged. ‘Of course.
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